Over the winter I read a good book called Happier at Home, written by the same author who wrote the Happiness Project (on my to read list). In this tome were a lot of fresh ideas and honestly if the ideas were not fresh they were at least packaged differently and interestingly for me to continue to think about them months later. The first item that I would like to talk about is the idea of a shrine on a shelf. So, I recently moved into a small and rather impersonal little apartment; I am saving up for a house. This place has a lot of new amenities, new carpeting, new bathroom and kitchen flooring, and new paint on the walls, but, as I expect it to be a short time residence, I do not want to do too much with it. Of course this means that it does not exactly feel like home. Not home in the sense of my last two apartments. I do not have room for my electronic keyboard, there is no space for my guitar that I play once a week, on a good week, I do not have butterfly’s hanging around the place, or even my unpractical but defining DVD and CD book collection. So, what could make it feel like more than a hotel room? If any of you are familiar with Gretchen Rubin or, Happier at home, the answer becomes clear, a shrine. I should use a shelf to display some things I love, make it smell nice and there for make myself feel a little more in touch with my surroundings. It seems odd, or simple, but I think that this small step could make a big difference. More on the construction of this special area later.

I think that most of us like to think that we are deliberate, thoughtful decision makers. In fact, when asked, most people would say that the changes that they initiate in their own lives go something like this; analyze, think, change. When that does not compute with how we actually make change happen. It turns out that a great number of us actually make change happen in this way; see, feel, change. This means that for most of us, we notice something, we turn it over in our mind, we get a feeling about it and then we act. We do not read up, study, and survey before thinking and then finally after all of the deliberation has come to an end, make a change. We do not work this way at work. We do not work this way with our personal lives. We are a feeling culture. Why do we so love apple products? They are cool and pretty. Why do we have brand loyalty? We identify as a certain kind of person. I have an iPad in a black case, wear Levi’s and use Listerine, which is totally different from my friend who has a Samsung Galaxy in a blue case. Wears Seven’s and uses Scope. The decisions, choices and changes that we make are each a part of who we are and this is why advertisers, marketers, and analysts are always trying to track us, our buying history and even our likes on Facebook. We like to think that we are each individuals but, we can be grouped and sorted just as Easley and every time that we make a choice, we are further defining the person that we are. Do you own a motorcycle? Do you find motorcycles dangerous and scary? Are you a season ticket holder for an athletic team? Do you shop at the GAP, Kmart, North Face? Who is your internet provider? What kind of dog/cat do you have? Where do you eat out, get coffee, drink tea? All of this means something and it can even predict the place that you live, the people you hang out with and generally the person that you are.

Left Brain vs. Right Brain—Most of us have a propensity toward one of these forms of thinking. How do you see the world? If you are a left brain thinker, you tend to find facts, figures, and data compelling and in fact, vital to decision making. If you are a right brain thinker, you are more convinced by an extraordinary narrative, an inspiring vision/big picture, or an element that tugs on the heart strings. Again, isn’t this too simplistic? How can you group people into one of two boxes? Well, the truth is, that you can’t and right brain thinking and left brain thinking are not mutually exclusive. So, why am I writing about it? We can all pick out times where the facts and stats led to our decision and we can all point to times where the creative and art behind a concept led us in that direction but, people know themselves and we all know what kind of thinker we are most of the time. In one of Dan Pink’s books, he breaks down these points in much greater and elegant detail and actually argues that the right brain creative thinkers will be the visionaries who change the world. We are in a period of great change and we are seeing that programing, finance, and other traditionally left brain occupations are moving overseas so, today’s business leaders have to have more than an MBA in finance, they need a big picture visionary mind that is ready to solve the creative conundrums of a global world. The kind of thinking that cannot be mapped out on a spread sheet, or replicated in a computer program. The US now requires knowledge workers, professionals to see the beauty in design, in developing the product, construct or device that we do not even know that we need. It is an exciting and energizing time and we get to be a part of making it happen!

Working Hard-- I recently returned to Pittsburgh with a new guide dog. What this means to me is that right now I am working really hard. So, I’ve had guide dogs before, shouldn’t this be easy? Well, that may be true for lots of people and really, I only know myself but, bringing a new dog into my life does not come naturally to me. I would imagine it would be like having or adopting a new child. I am not naturally consistent. I work in the arts and sometimes have odd hours. I travel. I have some useable vision and tend to think that I am right about the best way to go. I do not do the same thing every day. I eat out a lot. Basically for a dog, with a schedule, my day to day operation is a mess. So, I am trying to adapt and have more normal hours, to be really consistent, to trust this new pup, etc. This is not something that makes sense to most of the people in my life so, I answer lots of questions, which I do not mind at all but, as most of this new dog stuff is bran new to a lot of people in my life questions happen frequently. Another quirk of mine is that I am extremely forgiving and patient with others but, I am really tough on myself. Perfectionist is not the right word but, I expect a lot out of myself and when I am not delivering to my standards I get internally annoyed. I have also always been one of those people who just gets things and in this, dog training, I have to work harder than normal. This May not sound particularly positive to a lot of you but, in my opinion, knowing yourself is a part of being a positive person.

“Doggy” I am one of the lucky few who travels around the streets with a dog and more often than not this well behaved creature walking just to my left attracts some notice by my fellow street walkers. However, just because you see a dog, there is not usually a need to say the word dog, doggy, to shriek, to run over to ask questions, or to whisper under your breath words like beautiful, gorgeous, or breathtaking. (Yes, breathtaking, I’ve heard it!) So before you start thinking I’m crazy or mean, or a host of other things let me tell you a few short stories... Most of them happen to involve Randall,. It is not that Bethany, Bear, or Andy were unattractive but, Randall is blond, or yellow and people can better see his expressive face. Randall story number one: “The Brad Pitt Effect” One morning as we walked through MU’s food court a group of first year girls caught sight of Randall walking through the court. They abruptly abandoned their conversation and shrieked with the kind of ferocity reserved for a mega star like Brad Pitt. This sentiment stuck and every time that we would walk across campus, into a room, or through an event and he would literally cause activity to stop, we called it the Brad Pitt Effect. I cannot even count the mutters of beautiful and gorgeous that I would get with all of my dogs. It prompted my friends to jokingly tell me to thank people as if they were directing their adoration my way. Okay, now let’s talk about “doggy.” I am not certain what it is that makes people regress when they see a dog but, what is it that makes an otherwise relatively normal adult overflow with excitement so that the only word that can escape from their lips is doggy? I am certain that they have seen a dog before and I would bet that a number of them even have a dog of their own. But, doggy, just doggy… It is baffling! A disclaimer is that I do not include children in any of what has proceeded. Kids have their own set of tenants.

Two weeks in a row... This could become a thing… Today I would like to talk about family. Many of us, myself included, came from extremely supportive families. However, many of us were not so lucky. So, what is a family? In my case, it was pretty nuclear. I have a mom and a dad. They have now been married for 33 years. I have one younger sister, who over the years has become one of my best friends. Do we both get annoyed with each other? Heck yeah but, I know that she will always be there. I actually read an article a while back that talked about the longest relationships in our lives and for those of us who have siblings, they are by far the longest relationship that any of us will ever have. Like others, I have also been blessed with some amazing friends and when living in Oxford, OH, a state away from my family, , some of those friends were as close as family. Friends from home and college are also branches of my family and in some ways may know me better than my biological family. My sister and I also have lots of Aunts, Uncles, and cousins. Some are closer than others but, they are also our family,. So, as you look around your life think about who you have brought into your own family. It could be a husband, a wife, a child, a teacher, a student, a best friend, a pet, a co-worker or, just someone who makes you laugh. Enjoy your weekends and your family!!

Parenthood is a show that I have avoided for years, even after my friend Sarah spoke highly of it. The hour primetime drama is a show about the Braverman family, a Berkeley based family with two parents, a few years older than my parents and their four children who range in age from early thirties to early forties. At times it has an OC, Sisters, or Friday Night Lights vibe. There is Adam, the oldest and most responsible child, his wife Christina and their children; Hattie, the teenager, Max, the child with Asperger’s, and Nora, the baby. Adams sister Sarah has two children, an addict X husband, and a number of dates. Crosby is the next Braverman. He finds out about the existence of a son in the first episode of the series and continues to have a close relationship with his son’s mother even after some turbulence in their relationship. Then finally there is Julia, the youngest and apart from Adam the most responsible member of the family. She is married to a stay at home husband, Joel and the two of them have a daughter and plan to adopt a son. The show is dramatic and funny in a nice way. Nearly all of the actors have carried their own shows in the past and it is nice to see the actors function so cohesively. You start to believe that they are a real family and leave behind their past roles. In the world of Netflix, I give it a 4 and am not even done with season three…

Patient’s is a virtue-- Everyone has met their very own version of Mother Teresa. A person who has patients of a saint, is always looking to a better future and who has abiding faith. Faith in what? Just faith, faith in people, in situations, in life and in themselves. All of us who may have faith in a few of these areas look on in amazement. How can you be that positive? Some would say that this level of faith is a lack of realism or just dismiss the overall level of positive force as unreal but, for those who wish to attain this kind of clarity it is just inspiring.

Don’t say you’re sorry, just don’t do it! This is the most simple and elegant concept that my Mom repeated time and time again throughout my childhood. After all, there is no need to apologize if a transgression had not actually occurred. consequently, we were a lot more deliberate about what we said and did. How great would it be if this were the case in today’s culture? “Sorry that I had an affair.” Sorry that I cheated you out of millions.” Sorry that I made that sex tape.” What if these things were just not done? What if we just didn’t do it?

Strengths-- When things come easy or naturally to you there is not always that built in motivation to work harder. However, this is just what positive psychologists and the creators of Gallop’s Strengths Finder had in mind. The test examines your aptitude over 32 predictor types and once you are done, the computer generates your five top strengths. The thought behind your top five strengths is so that you can maximize those predictors and in turn, enhance your overall aptitude. Are you experiencing some cognitive dissidence? If you are, you are not alone. Many individuals who take the test would prefer to receive their bottom five results, with the thought that those are the areas that they should truly be working on, to become a better person. When they receive their top five they tend to dismiss them. “These are things that I am already doing well.” However, that is the entire point. When you would bring home a report card with all A’s and one C, which grade drew the attention from your parents? Well naturally it was that C. In many houses the A’s may not have even been mentioned. Is a C the end of the world? No. Is it still important? Yes. However were the 6 A’s just as important? Again, Yes. The same holds true for Strengths. Say that you are a really positive person, should you say, “the heck with that, I want to be analytical.” Not necessarily. You could instead use your positive attitude to influence your desire to become more analytical. You see, use what you are already good at to be better across the board!

If at first you don’t succeed, try try again. Words to live by whether it be for an exorcise regiment, a project that you are trying to get off of the ground or, for a reluctant blog writer. I’m back again in hopes that this blog can become a part of my regular routine. Why do I care about keeping a blog? Shouldn’t someone like me have better ways to spend my time? The answers to these questions go hand and hand. I love to write. I love to explore ideas. Finally, if we are being completely honest, I’m a bit narcissistic. As are many writers and especially blog writers. Sure, I care about others. I love people, whether they be my best friends or, fascinating strangers but, I also love my self. I do not love myself in a completely arrogant way, that I think that I am always right. nor do I think that I am the greatest person on the planet. I am referring to a healthy level of self-respect and outward confidence. A love that means that I am both comfortable as the center of attention, as well as being equally comfortable fading into the background. My narcissism allows me to invite myself into a meeting that is by invitation only. To launch a new initiative without reservation and to make calculated risks to align my life on a certain path. This is the kind of narcissism that I endorse in my friends, my former students, and the awesome little nieces and nephews in my life.